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  • Becky Whitcomb

5 Best Places to Cry in Manhattan

Listen, we have ALL been there... and if you say you haven't almost ugly cried all over an innocent passerby just trying to ask you for directions you are lying and I am straight up calling you out. (Sidenote: I just finished reading Amy Poehler's book "Yes, Please" which is unabashedly genius and if I sound like I am imitating her writing style it's because I am. So buckle up and enjoy the ride.)

So you just found out you didn't get the job or maybe you just heard that your favorite quintessential New York shop has to close due to rising rent costs or you having a panic attack whilst thinking about the state of the government in our country or, even worse, Starbucks misspelled your name once again on your cup and you just can.not.even. Never fear, Becky is here(!) to give you the top spots to let the dam that is building up in your eyeballs burst wide open. I've called Manhattan home for the better part of 9 years (is there an echo in here?) and I've 110% shed my fair share of tears... Here are my favorite spots:


1. The Subway

From out of town and want to feel a little more like a New Yorker? Let 'er rip while stuck on the MTA. All of us city people have done it- heck! I've even vomited while on a late night train ("Gracias" to the sweet señora who offered me a napkin to clean my face before I promptly exited at my stop.) For the times when your hectic city life just won't let you have a moment to yourself, make emotions apart of your daily commute. I promise you, you're not the only one in that subway car trying to keep it together.


Always cry in style

2. The Metropolitan Museum of Art

Are your emotional outbursts a little more refined? Then head on over to 5th Avenue and check out The Metropolitan Museum of Art. Fake out the crowds around you by pretending like you're crying over an ancient Greek, Roman, African, Medieval painting when in actuality you're crying over the fact that your hot water was out once again this morning and crying silently to yourself is classier than shouting your frustrations out at the gods. Pro tip: Admission is pay-what-you-can so its cheaper than therapy.


Or like, if you're in love, I guess you can do this too...

3. Times Square

Need a little human affection? Head on over to the busiest and more chaotic part of Manhattan: Times Square, where all city dwellers are berating you internally for your lack of basic walking skills except for the lovely, the cuddly, the disgustingly unkempt costumed characters.* Now confined to 10-foot by 50-foot rectangles between 42nd Street and 47th Street, they are easy to spot. The whole gang is there: Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Elmo, Hello Kitty, and for those Marvel enthusiasts: Spiderman. Best of all: they want to give you hugs! Multitudes of hugs! A plethora of hugs... I have zero doubt they will hold you in their street-grease matted furry arms for as long as you desire. Pro tip: A tip is customary, and in some performers eyes required lest you end up like this dude: Costume Characters Arrested After Fight


Photo by Joana Toro, Published article by Business Insider

* I mean no disrespect to these street performers. Many of these performers are from foreign countries just trying to get by when finding other employment is hard. Read this article to learn more: Underground World of Street Performers


4. Chelsea Market and the High Line

Are you someone who likes to gorge yourself and overeat when you're emotional? I got you, boo. Head on over to the Chelsea Market and treat yourself to a literal smorgasbord of goodies. Wine? Check. Burgers? Check. Currywurst? Check. Ice cream overload? Checkity check check. If you don't want to deal with people after you've ordered your #instaworthy food, head on up to the High Line at the end of the block and eat to your heart's content while watching traffic travel right beneath you and planning your sweet sweet revenge on He who has done you wrong... and then head back for more ice cream because it's the only thing in this life that have never let you down.


If Ron Swanson is wrong for making sweet love to this ice cream cone then I don't want to be right

5. The Ferry

Maybe you just need to get away from the city. You're single or without children or you finally succeed in killing off your succulent plant so you have no responsibilities... except for paying your rent. It can put a damper on your dreams of finally relocating to your true home of Hogwarts (still waiting on my letter... definitely not in the slightest bit bitter AT ALL), but you can pretend you are Rose on the Titanic (before all the sex and death) and flip Manhattan "the bird" while sailing away for FREE on the Staten Island Ferry. Your tears of anger have turned into tears of relief and cackles of joy because you have done it. You've finally escaped!... Until the ferry stops, you politely exit, and get back on the ferry returning to lower Manhattan. I hope you enjoy your mini-vacation.


Don't rain on my parAAAAAde!

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